"There are only two kinds of languages: the ones people complain about and the ones nobody uses." – Bjarne Stroustrup
"When I wrote this code, only God and I understood what I did. Now only God knows." – Anonymous
"I don't care if it works on your machine! We are not shipping your machine!" — Vidiu Platon
"If debugging is the process of removing software bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in." — Edsger Dijkstra
"The computer was born to solve problems that did not exist before." – Bill Gates
"If you think it's simple, then you have misunderstood the problem." — Bjarne Stroustrup
"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." — Thomas Edison
"When the program works, nobody knows why. When it doesn't, everybody knows why." — Anonymous
"The most important function in programming is copy-paste." — Anonymous
"Walking on water and developing software from a specification are easy if both are frozen." — Edward V. Berard
"The best thing about a boolean is even if you are wrong, you are only off by a bit." — Anonymous
"Computers are fast; programmers keep it slow." — Anonymous
"Sometimes it pays to stay in bed on Monday rather than spending the rest of the week debugging Monday’s code." – Dan Salomon
"Programmer: 'Does this work?' Computer: 'No, but it’s cute that you thought that.'" — Anonymous
"90% of coding is copying stuff from Stack Overflow and the other 10% is trying to get it to work." — Anonymous
"In theory, theory and practice are the same. In practice, they’re not." – Yogi Berra
"Programming is like sex. One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life." – Michael Sinz
"There are only two hard things in Computer Science: cache invalidation and naming things." — Phil Karlton
"Programmer: A machine that turns coffee into code." – Anonymous
"Software and cathedrals are much the same – first we build them, then we pray." — Anonymous
"The first 90% of the code accounts for the first 90% of the development time. The remaining 10% of the code accounts for the other 90% of the development time." – Tom Cargill
"If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization." — Gerald Weinberg
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